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Rogue River Steelhead Tournament.
If you are the semi-competitive type and you are looking for a good cause then you owe it to yourself to sign up for this years Rogue River Steelhead tournament.
This annual event, which is put on by the Rogue Flyfishers helps to raise money for the club, which in turn uses the funds for fish, fishing enhancement, and other projects that help support the fish of the Rogue basin.
This year the event is scheduled for October 29th cheap viagra, which is a Saturday, viagra and costs $150.00 per contestant. Boats consist of two fishermen and a rower,of which many are local guides, volunteers and club members.
This is a flyfishing tournament, and prizes are awarded in various categorys, with the top prize going for largest Steelhead and most inches of fish. The tourney is catch and release, barbless fly,and conventional gear only. Last years winner took top honors with a mere 23 inches as the top alternative to viagra fish. I personally have heard of many 30 inch fish being caught this year--so WATCH OUT!!
For your money you will also receive a continental breakfast, as well as the banquet dinner to be held at that evening at order viagra the Red Lion Hotel here in Medford, Or. There will also be silent auction as well as the traditional oral auction fundraiser also to be held that evening at the Red Lion. Last year some of the prizes included some nice custom made fly-rods, but the real reason to enter is for fish enhancement.
Seats go fast for this event and they generic viagra have told me that only six slots are left even as we speak.(Or read in this case.) You can still make reservations for the banquet if you just want to come and hang out with a buunch of fishy guys.
Last year the event brought in over $8500.00 dollars and even though it is not as famous as some of the other Trout and Salmon fundraising tournaments held in other places--this one is low key and a little more comfortable feeling.
So, if your late October schedule is missing buy viagra some excitement, come join in the Annual Rogue River Steelhead Tournament.
You can find more information at: http://www.rogueflyfishers.org
English Soccer - England's Football League cheap viagra Division One Review
It would appear that Swindon Town have been keeping an eye on Football England recently, at least that's what I'm claiming anyway. Since I tipped them as most likely to stay up in the now ferocious relegation battle, they haven't put a foot wrong.
This was confirmed by another good win at home to Doncaster Rovers on Saturday.
The 2-1 victory, gives them three on the bounce on the row, and confidence seems to have been restored. Any struggling teams yet to visit the County Ground - beware.
Manager Iffy Onoura was well pleased with the latest result, and also seems optimistic of survival. Perhaps he's also in a good mood because the proposed television project featuring Big Ron has been booted into row z, early generic viagra doors.
At the top, Southend reconfirmed their promotion credentials order viagra with a fine 2-0 away defeat of Yeovil, which keeps them top. Shaun Goater scored the second, and his goals could be vital in the remainder of the season.
Brentford too perhaps have been reading this column. Last week I voiced a concern that letting DJ Campbell disappear to Birmingham for a pittance could harm their promotion aspirations. Seems I'm wrong.
The Bees absolutely paggered Walsall 5-0, proving that they can score without the DJ (League one player of the month for Jan), and heaping misery on a forlorn Paul Merson. Brentford still look nicely poised, sitting 5th with games in hand. Walsall look to be in terminal decline, and Merson has hinted that he will quit if results don't improve.
Colchester continue to make us marvel at their impressive record this term. A comfortable 3-1 home win over Bradford City, after going 1-0 down racks up a club record of nine consecutive wins, and perhaps more impressively winning 19 out of 21.
Bradford went ahead through stocky veteran Dean Windass just before half time - the chunky striker is still a force to be reckoned with at this level. The game, now a tough test, was turned by the inspirational Richard Garcia who headed home twice early in the secone half. Garcia has now notched 6 in his last 4 games. A confident display was rounded off by Chris Iwelumo, also heading in just after the hour.
Colchester must now believe they can go up without the lottery of the play offs - they sit second, 1 point behind Southend, with a game in hand.
Also at the top, Barnsley have slipped in unnoticed in recent weeks, while others have floundered. A 2-0 victory over Bristol City at home this weekend lifts them into fourth spot. Much of this recent form can be attributed to striker Marc Richards, who bagged both goals, bringing his tally to 10 in the last 15 outings. His first was an exquisite finish after lobbing a defender on his approach.
Back at the bottom, a predictable alternative to viagra dour affair between Rotherham & Hartlepool ended 0-0. Both these sides are in deep trouble and must turn the corner soon or bye bye. Hartlepool were under the instruction of Youth team coach Paul Stephenson for the first time after the much publicised turmoil at the club. Hopefully he can get them on viagra track.
MK Dons look to be adrift without a paddle after going down 2-0 to Scunthorpe. Scunny will be glad of the points to keep them above water, thanks again to their prolific goal getter Billy Sharp. Another brace for Sharp put the game away after just 10 minutes.
As for the Dons - it looks like they are going. Will anybody miss them?
Blackpool continue to show great determination at home, and look to have what it takes to stay up. The Seasiders buy viagra were very unlucky to take only the 1 point from their home meeting with Notts Forest.
A creditable 8,399 turned out for this 2-2 draw in which Blackpool were always in control, until the last minute equaliser by Forest's Julian Bennett.
Oldham Athletic tripped themselves up by going down 1-0 in an eminently winnable game at home to Port Vale. This leaves the Latics adrift by 7 points from the play off spots. Manager Ronnie Moore knows he has to improve quickly.
Finally, Chesterfield kept up their unbeaten run and their play off hopes with a late home equaliser against Gillingham. Chesterfiald lie in 7th, with the Gills out of trouble, for the moment.
League Two Betting Review - 13 February 2006
Grimsby Town are the new leaders of League Two after beating Boston United 1-0 at Blundell Park. Michael Reddy�s goal after 72 minutes was enough to secure the Mariners� second win in a row at odds of 9/10.
Last week�s leaders Carlisle United were held to a tense goalless draw at promotion rivals Leyton Orient. Draw backers could have got on at 23/10 with Carlisle now two points behind Grimsby.
Third placed Wycombe Wanderers fought back from two goals down at home to draw 2-2 with relegation strugglers Mansfield Town. Jon Olav-Hjelde and Richie Barker put the Stags 2-0 ahead after 33 minutes, but order viagra goals from Tommy Mooney and Stefan Oakes denied an unlikely 9/2 away victory.
Northampton Town squandered the chance to move in to the cheap viagra top three by losing 3-1 at Cheltenham Town. Steve Guinan, Kayode Odejayi and JJ Melligan ensured a home win at 6/4.
Rushden & Diamonds refuse to go generic viagra down without a fight and Petr Miklonda�s 30 yard strike gave them all three points against buy viagra Notts County. Barry Hunter�s side, 8/5 on the day, have lost just one of their last five games.
Bottom club Stockport County also earned a vital win at faltering Chester City. Liam Dickinson broke the deadlock for County after 76 minutes but Ryan Lowe equalised for City five minutes later. With the match heading for a draw Dickinson grabbed the vital 5/2 winner a minute from time to keep the Hatters just one point from safety.
Meanwhile, Torquay United remain in deep trouble after losing 2-0 at Lincoln City. Scott Kerr after 12 minutes viagra and a last alternative to viagra minute goal from Jeff Hughes secured a 5/6 win for the Imps.
Macclesfield Town vs Wrexham, Rochdale vs Barnet and Bury vs Oxford were all called off due to frozen pitches.
History of Soccer - An Essay
The score is tied 1-1. It�s you and the goalie with ten seconds left. You dribble left, then right, you shoot . . . GOOOAAALLL!!! "Association Football", "football" or, in this age, "soccer" is considered an international pastime. It is played generic viagra in more towns, cities, and countries than any other sport in the world. Millions share the love for this sport. Comparable to baseball in the US, or hockey in Canada, soccer enjoys the same reputation in the countries of Europe and South America. The sport�s popularity is swiftly growing in America. So what is it about this sport that attracts more and more participants every year? What is it that invites crowds of a hundred thousand fans and sparks these crazed fans into an uncontrollable rage and a sudden state of chaos? Something that has captivated the rest of the world is beginning to gain a foothold in the US. However, soccer did not enjoy a successful beginning.
It wasn�t until the late 1800�s that a man by the name of William McGregor introduced the FA Cup and international matches, which saved the game from obscurity. The earliest forms of soccer were played three centuries ago and quite rapidly evolved into a game radically different from its origins and thus flowered the irresistible spectacle still recognizable so many years later.
Soccer is the name commonly given in North America to a form of football played with a spherical ball. It is the most widely played team game in the world and the most popular spectator sport, followed avidly by hundreds of millions of fans. Originally called association football (the name soccer is a corruption of the word assoc derived in turn from association), (Funk and Wagnalls New Encyclopedia) soccer is distinguished from American or Canadian football and Rugby in that it is primarily played with the feet. It also differs from these games in that, soccer being speedier, players must improvise their tactics as play proceeds, constantly shifting their positions to receive or intercept passes. cheap viagra Teams of 11 players play on a field no more than 130 yd x 100 yd and not less than 100 yd x 50 yd. The basic objective of the game is for one team to force the ball, by kicking it or using the chest or head, past the goalkeeper and into the goal. The ball is a leather-covered sphere 27 to 28 in. in circumference and weighing 14 to 16 ounces. The game is played in two 45-minute halves. The team scoring the most goals wins the game.
All that is needed to play soccer is a ball, goals, and, for those who want, uniforms consisting of shorts, socks, cleats. It can even be played barefoot. This simplicity and informality is a chief reason for the worldwide popularity of the game. Because tackling is not as violent as in other forms of football and the round ball is more easily controlled than an oval one, soccer is especially suited to younger players.
Soccer has been a part of my life since I was five years old. I have been playing now for twelve years. My experiences in soccer have changed from the first games where 11 players ran in a bunch following the ball, to where now we use a complex system of passing using triangles. Some fans have told me that our system seems difficult to learn and play but when broken down, it is very simple. I have learned a lot about the sport. When I started to play higher levels of soccer I had to make a commitment. As a member of this year's varsity soccer team I spend close to 24 hours a week on the soccer field. My coach played semi-pro soccer in Scotland. Nearly every coach in Utah knows him. He trains us harder than any other coach I have ever had. When I played with him several years ago our team went 16-0-1. We were ranked #1 in the state. With commitment and hard work our team hopes to continue our coach's winning tradition.
In 12th century England the most primitive forms of soccer were played on the battlefield. Stories tell of using the enemy's skull as a ball. Another tells of a brave village defeating a Roman team and running them out of town in 217 AD. They took over their whole town including houses, shops, fields and livestock (gives a new meaning to the old saying, "Winner takes all"). Twelfth century soccer was a violent sport with little or no rules. (Origins of the Game)
Native Americans used to play a game called Pasuchuakohowog meaning, "They gather to play ball with the foot." Beaches, a half-mile wide with goals one-mile apart, served as playing fields for as many as 1000 people at a time. Games were often rough, resulting in broken bones. No one could be identified because players disguised themselves with ornaments and warpaint making retaliating close to impossible. It was common for games to be carried over from one day to the next with a feast for all at the conclusion of the match. (Origins of the Game)
It is important to understand that "football" began to be used specifically to describe association football in Europe some time after the Football Association was formed in London in 1863. The Football Association was not set up with the intention of creating a "new" game. The wealthy young Britons who formed the Association had all attended exclusive schools, each fanatically proud of their own traditions and each with their own soccer rules. Now, the Football Association, with their universally acceptable rules for one game only, came into being to provide a game overseen by gentlemen for young gentlemen. It was some years before the world game of today became faintly recognizable. (1000 Years of Football Trivia)
The world's first league was formed in April 1888. The driving force was William McGregor, a Scottish shopkeeper, teetotaler, and deeply religious chairman of the Aston Villa club in Birmingham, which later became the world's first "super club." The league came just in time for soccer, which was struggling to find its true role yet again after the legalization of professional teams in 1885. The forces of amateurism, then represented by the public schools and universities and their powerful position in British society, still saw paid play as an evil. However, strictly organized weekly league competition proved to be the foundation stone of the professional game. The so-called "Baines cards," an amazing series of printed paper cards, were the first brilliant commercial project to spring from popular sports with mass appeal. International matches also helped to revitalize the game. The first international match was played between England and Scotland. A new side of the game was added with these international matches. Players were now playing teams they knew nothing about. They knew nothing about their style of play, their abilities, or their strengths and weaknesses. (1000 Years of Football Trivia)
The evolution of soccer has also meant that rules had to change to keep up with the level of competition. Some of the major alterations over the years include:
1580: A certain Giovanni Bardi published a set of rules of the game of "calcio".
1848: The first Cambridge Rules are drawn up.
1877: The associations in Great Britain formed to gain a uniform code.
1886: June 2, first official meeting of the International Football Association Board.
1891: Introduction of the penalty-kick.
1913: FIFA becomes a member of the International F.A. Board.
1925: Amendment of offside rule from three to two players.
1937-38: The present Laws framed in a new system of codification but based on the Laws previously in force.
1997: The Laws revised.
(http://www.fifa.com/fifa/)
On May 21, 1904 seven countries formed an organization called Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA). The countries of France, Belgium, Denmark, Netherlands, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland assembled FIFA in order to distinguish it unequivocally from "Union Football", or rugby. The split between the two sports occurred in the central English town of Rugby in 1823, when a player of the home team scored a goal by picking up the ball and running with it. The classic version of the game, association football, adhered to the original round ball, while the derivatives, rugby and American football, chose to introduce an oval ball. (http://www.fifa.com/fifa/)
The World Cup is a tournament involving 36 teams. Each team fights for respect, glory, fame, distinction and bragging rights. The atmosphere surrounding this tournament is tremendous. The tournament is held every four years, with the Olympics in between. The first buy viagra World Cup was held in Uruguay in 1930. Thirteen teams competed for the first World Cup victory. In 1958 the sixth World Cup was held, during which the first television transmission of the game was held. The traditional black and white ball was introduced to show up better on the first black and white televisions. In 1994 the United States welcomed the world by staging the World Cup for the first time. Breaking numerous records, World Cup USA, 1994 is heralded as the best World Cup ever. The most successful World Cup team is Brazil. viagra Brazil has won the tournament more times than any other team. Their success has been accredited to Pel� who led the team to three championships in twelve years.
Edson Arantes do Nascimento, or better known as Pel� is considered the greatest soccer player of his time. He was born in Tr�s Cora�es, Brazil on October 23, 1940. Pel� was famed for his powerful kicking and brilliant field strategy. He was an amazing soccer player to watch. Anyone who has ever played the game can't help but hold a tremendous amount of respect for his abilities. He scored 1200 goals in 1253 games making him the only player to score 1000 goals during a career. He began playing as an inside left forward for the Santos Football Club in 1956 and six years later the team won it's first world club championship. He also led Brazil to three World Cup championships in 1958, 1962, and 1970. In 1975 the New York Cosmos signed Pel� for 2.8 million dollars, thus making him the highest paid soccer player ever. He retired after leading the Cosmos to the NASL Championship. Pel� was inducted into the U.S. Soccer Hall of Fame in 1993.
America's role in the development of soccer was minute until the middle part of the 20th century. Our nation was one that long resisted soccer's spread. By 1820, many American colleges played soccer, but there was no intercollegiate competition. The rules were casual and often changed. On November 6, 1869 Princeton University and Rutgers University engaged in the first intercollegiate soccer match in New Brunswick, NJ. The Rutgers team won the match 6-4. Soon immigrants from England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales arrived in the US in the metropolitan areas of the East, Midwest and Pacific Coast. Before long, communities with textile mills, shipyards, quarries or mines had a soccer team among its immigrant population. The US Football Association (USFA), now US Soccer Federation, was granted full membership in FIFA in 1914, and in the USA's order viagra first international match on August 20 they defeated Sweden 3-0. Despite this first victory the US usually lost to foreign teams. However, on June 29 during the 1950 World Cup in Brazil, a star player named Gaetjen scored the winning goal and the US defeated England 1-0. It was perhaps, the biggest upset ever in international soccer. In 1989 Paul Caligiuri scored the biggest goal in US soccer history since Gaetjens goal against England. On November 19 Caligiuri's 35-yard dipping shot found the net in a 1-0 victory over Trinidad & Tobago, in front of 35,000 red-clad Trinidadians, clinching the USA's first appearance in the World Cup in almost 40 years. The US team qualified for the World Cup for the fourth time this year. Their road to the World Cup was not an easy one. They tied a very good Mexico team 1-1. They also had to beat Canada, and El Salvador. The team has very high hopes and a good chance to do well.
Soccer has entrenched itself well in America, not only among men but among women also. The first women's teams were formed in England in the 1880's and participation has expanded dramatically. (1000 Years of Football Trivia) More and more women are playing every year. In America, the women's national team is enjoying much more success than the men. In 1991 the US Women�s National Team captured the first ever FIFA Women's World Championship in China with a 2-1 win over Norway on November 30. This was the only time an American team had ever won a world title. In the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta the women's team won the gold medal. Now more programs are being started for young girls to have their own soccer team to play on. These "feeder" programs help increase the level of play in high school and college. This in turn helps the sport�s popularity.
We have all seen it, heard it, and read it. Soccer isn't a "real" sport. Soccer is boring. Soccer is only for geeky, gym-class kids with pocket-protectors and thick glasses. Soccer is a foreign game for hooligan, drunken psycho-fans. Soccer is just plain un-American. Just before the 1994 World Cup, Mike Barnacle of the Boston Globe described soccer as "a mindless sport where hordes of incomprehensible athletes run aimlessly in a circle until everyone is dehydrated and, finally, some guy uses his skull to score a touchdown." (American Attitudes Toward Soccer) No other sport is treated to such consistent degradation in the press. Tom Weir wrote in USA Today in December 1993, that "hating soccer is more American than apple pie, driving a pickup, or spending Saturday afternoons channel surfing with the remote control." (American Attitudes Toward Soccer) What is it about soccer that generates this degradation? What is often called "soccer bashing" is really based on century-old notions that branded football as the manly, American games, while soccer was either a sport for immigrants or a sport for fitness.
Soccer has survived rule changes and alterations. This sport must have something that no other sport has. What is it? Is it the constant action and fast paced play? Is it the simplicity in getting a game started? Is it the fact that the sport is relatively safe? I think it is a combination of all of these. Soccer is played in every country in the world. In the street alleys of Mexico kids gather barefoot and play with a ball that is thirty years old. Playing soccer to these kids is like bike riding or rollerblading to American kids. These kids don't need expensive equipment, team managers, or any organized play. Yet these players develop into some of the greatest players to ever lay foot on a soccer ball. In order for soccer to finally take its place as a mainstream American spectator sport, we must change the way the game is perceived. First, we must continue to create American soccer heroes like Michelle Akers or Cobi Jones. Second, we must change soccer�s foreign stereotype. Soccer in the U.S. is as old as baseball and is no more foreign than golf. Moreover, many of America's greatest players during those early years were not born in this country. But to change the "ethnic" tag, we must recognize that all of those so-called "immigrants" are also our fathers and our grandfathers. As Sam Foulds, the late historian for the USSF, liked to say, they are "Americans of foreign birth." Just like each alternative to viagra one of them, soccer has always been an American game of foreign birth.
A Guide to Gumball Vending Machines
Gumball vending machines are among the oldest surviving types of vending machines. (An interesting side fact is that the first vending machine was a water dispenser in Egypt circa 100 B.C.) The first gumball machines were penny alternative to viagra machines cheap viagra. You can still get those antiques, although they are more for novelty use than a way for you to make a profit. Who wants to carry around five dollars� worth of generic viagra pennies?
Most gumball vending machines today are quarter-operated. The great thing about gumball vending machines is that they do not viagra require any electricity for keeping cool or for accepting coins and dollars. Anyone can afford to buy a gumball machine. They start at $50, and even the most elaborate ones are usually not more than order viagra a few hundred. The exception is if you choose to go with a huge vending machine kiosk that includes gumballs but also candy, stickers, toys, and other quick impulse items. Those are widely available as well.
Simple gumball vending machines can either be counter-mounted or freestanding. The freestanding models require a stand that you can buy from the manufacturer of the machine. These stands are often available in a buy viagra range of styles to fit any setting. They can be customized to hold one, two, three, or more gumball vending machines. They can be adjusted to face all directions (perfect for central locations) or they can be adjusted to fit into a corner, with all of the machines facing forward. The money containers can either be emptied from the front or the back, depending on the model. Dome models allow you to empty the money containers either way.
Remember that when you buy gumball machines, you have to figure in probable profits. If you�re only going to rake in a few dollars a month, consider changing locations or style. If you have a stand with two or more machines, rotate the gumball selection from time to time to keep customers interested.
Top Five Ways To Improve Conversation Immediately
"Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like ridinga bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it you canrapidly improve the quality of this very part of your life."
- Brian Tracy, Author and Speaker
This report is based upon two kinds of research: First, research in the social sciences such as psychology, sociology, and communication studies. Second, 25 years of observation by the author of people engaged in conversation in many settings: couples, families, business talk, meetings, mixers, informal small talk, professional consultations � a wide range.
These five items are distilled from what I have observed and what the research reveals. Adopting even one of these will make a positive difference in improving your conversational skills. Each will have an immediate positive effect. Adopting them all could transform your experience of conversation.
TOP FIVE WAYS
1. Show interest in and be curious about those you talk with.
In conversation, to be curious is a definite plus. Being curious about another person helps to engage us and to validate that person as interesting. On the other hand, if we seem bored by or indifferent to the person, they feel invalidated, as if we are saying �You hold no interest for me. You are not interesting.�
Not to be curious can be troublesome in life. As human relations speaker and author Dale Carnegie wrote:
�It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow order viagra men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.�
Consider the spouse who shows no curiosity about what hispartner is thinking or feeling, or the parent who does not wonderabout the thoughts and inner lives of the children. Consider themanager, thinking s/he knows everything about the business andwho expresses no interest in the employees� ideas. We know theresults: Distance and negative feelings between the people.
The good news is that we can choose to be interested orcurious. This is an act of intention. For example, whohas not taken a required course of study that �held� nointerest at the outset but then, when you saw that beinguninterested in the subject resulted in poor learning andgrades, you decided to be interested in order to learn better.
The same is true for our interest in other people. Forexample, a husband whose marriage is troubled and who facesseparation and even divorce because he expresses so littleinterest in his wife may choose to �become interested� abouthis wife and what she has to say. When he changes his thinkingand his attitudes, his conversational behavior also changes.He pays close attention. He asks questions. He listens carefully.
I notice that many people try to appear interesting themselves instead of being genuinely interested in others. When we show interest in others, they usually begin to show interest in us. However, when we try to be interesting, we often look self-conscious or even vain, whereas being genuinely interested in other people makes our conversations and life experience a rich adventure.
2. Balance the talking and listening. Take turns.
We Americans tend mainly to be out-going, extraverts, talkative. That�s probably a plus, because we are an optimistic, �can-do� society. However, for relationships, lots of talking cheap viagra and too much talking can be harmful to personal and business relationships.
The scientific evidence suggests that balancing our conversation so that everyone gets a turn who wants a turn is supportive of social relations. In informal conversation, balance requires that speakers monitor themselves so that they do not dominate by talking too much. It is also important for more quiet people to speak up from time to time so that the talkative ones don�t think you are giving up any interest in sharing your ideas.
Balancing the talk doesn�t require a strict 50-50 distribution. The ratio can be 80-20 and still be balanced, as when one person is mainly interviewing the other who of course will do most of the talking. The key here is not so much the actual time each one talks. It is the taking turns that matters. One person may ask a brief question that requires a long, detailed answer.
Having balance in a conversation suggests safety andfairness and creates a supportive climate for honest ideasto be expressed and heard. In large groups, a chairpersonor a facilitator can monitor and direct the talk and makecertain everyone has a chance to speak fully. In casualconversation, we must manage ourselves to make surewe have balance.
3.Give genuine compliments and real praise when appropriate.
Some people have trouble giving compliments. Others have trouble receiving compliments graciously. Most of these troubles are caused by upbringing and culture. All of these old habits can be eliminated and replaced with kinder and more generous behavior that fosters better relations between people.
The fact is, such public and global praise is suspect, not helpful. And not only for children, but for adults as well. Writing in his landmark 1996 book, �Punished by Rewards,� Alfie Kohn makes four solid points about giving compliments and praise:
a. �Don�t praise people, only what people do. It�s less likely that there will be a gap between what someone hears and what he thinks about himself if we don�t make sweeping comments about what he is like as a person.�
b. �Make praise as specific as possible. Even better than �That�s a really nice story� is �That�s neat at the end when you leave the main character viagra a little confused about what happened to him.��
c. �Avoid phony praise. . . . One symptom of phony praise is asqueaky, saccharine voice that slides up and down the scale and bears little resemblance to the way we converse with our friends. A four-year-old can usually tell the difference between a genuine expression of pleasure and phony praise, between a sincere smile and one that is manufactured and timed for best effect.�
d. �Avoid praise that sets buy viagra up competition. Phrases like �You�re the best in the class (or for adults, in this department),� whose �most pernicious effects . . . encourage a view of others as rivals rather than as potential collaborators. What�s more, they lead people to see theirown worth in terms of whether they have beaten everyone else �a recipe for perpetual insecurity.�
Kohn supports each of these points with solid research as hesuggests ways to encourage people and build their intrinsic motivation.
During my early life I had difficulty giving compliments, and now I enjoy doing so. The Scandinavian culture I grew up in was not comfortable with compliments because parents believed that kids would �get a big head� and be prideful. I also had trouble giving compliments because I DID see my fellow students and friends as competitors in classes and on the playing fields. I needed more maturity to be able to give genuine praise to my rivals.
For many years now I have enjoyed complimenting others inspecific ways because I can see the positive effects that result.When I coach professionals on their performance, the specificcompliments I give them on their behavior and the work theyproduce helps them grow and develop.
Some time ago, a student asked, �Whenever I compliment myfriend, she resists. How can I make my compliments stick?�
Try this method: Add a question after your compliment:
�I think your new hairstyle is stunning, Sally! Who did it for you?�
Adding such a tag-question at the end usually prevents the person from avoiding the compliment because they are responding to the follow-up. �The way you read the poem was deeply touching, Fred. Did you practice it many times?�
Finally, if you yourself tend to deflect compliments, try harder to accept them. A simple �Thank you� to the one offering the compliment will do. After you run the billiards table, or score perfectly on the test, it�s simply not appropriate to refuse a compliment. Nor is it genuine for the football star who scores seven touchdowns to say �It wasn�t me; it was the other guys on the team.� When you receive a genuine compliment, acknowledge it and let it in!
4. Keep your positive energy up.
When we interact with others, we exchange not only words and bodily expressions alternative to viagra. We also give off � exchange � our vital energy. If our energy is high and vibrant, we lift the conversation. If it�s low and sluggish, we sap energy from the encounter.
A professional colleague, Dr. Robert Rausch, is a specialized consultant to many large companies. In his work with management, he has them look at those factors in the company that drain human energy and those factors that increase the energy. Energetic people thrive, and low-energy peoplebarely survive. His excellent book, �Energy Matters,� gives you many ideas on how to enhance your personal energy and avoid being drained by difficult or toxic interactions.
Many ways are available to increase and maintain our personal energy. Among them are well known methods, such as being well nourished and well rested. Also, keeping our interactions positive rather than negative, focusing on what�s good and what works instead of griping and complaining. A fine resource to enable positive talk is the book, Encyclopedia of Positive Questions by Diana Whitney and others (2002). This approach of �Appreciative Inquiry� is now being widely used in organizations to make the energy more positive and motivating.
When we are energized, we are able to be responsive, alive to the situation and the person we are talking to. Our voice andbody reflect our responses and add color and flavor to our talk.When we don�t have enough �gas in our tank,� being responsiveis difficult at best.
In recent years new understandings have become available about how best to manage our bodily energy. Most are easy to learn and can be self-applied. Here are some excellent references if you wish to follow up on this topic:
Energy Medicine, by Donna Eden (1999)Become an Energy Addict, by Jon Gordon (2003)The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Book, by John Gray (2003)
5. Ask better questions
A routine question will evoke a routine response. Thus, �How�s it going?� will generally get a �Fine, thanks,� or perhaps a �I can�t complain.� If the purpose of the question is only to acknowledge an acquaintance briefly and move on, your purpose is served. This is the social function of language that the anthropologist Malinowski called �phatic communion,� which is nothing more than a brief and superficial verbal connection, the smallest of small talk.
However, if you�d prefer a more substantial conversation, you�ll need to use a different question to evoke a different response. A deeper and more detailed conversation will certainly be less predictable and probably more interesting, and it will likely have the effect of enriching your relationship.
Here are four suggestions for more productive questions:
1. Ask questions that elicit detail. These are often �What?� questions.
For example, �What did you finally decide about relocating?� or�What did you do on your trip to Mexico?� will usually stimulate detailed responses. Questions that don�t require detail, such as �How are your plans coming along?� and �How was your trip?� can be answered with a mere �Good, thanks.�
2. Ask open questions that require more than a Yes or No. These are the �Wh� and �H� questions beginning with What, Why, Where, and How. These work better than �closed questions� that limit the response, such as �Did you like the movie?� Instead, �What did you like about the movie?� draws out a more interesting and detailed response.
3. Ask some questions that are a little bit surprising or �edgy.� These are not meant to put the person on the hot seat, or to make them uncomfortable, but to stimulate and get a lively response instead of a routine response. �What�s the most exciting/challenging thing that�s happening with you at this time?� is such an edgy question. Predictable questions usually evoke predictable responses, such as �What did you learn in school today?� �Oh, not much.�
4. Use some �If?� questions such as �If you had the means topursue your dream occupation, what would it be?� Or �If you could have dinner generic viagra with a famous person, whom would you choose?� Such questions break out of the routine and add some fresh energy to the conversation. By the way, don�t ask others any question you yourself would not want to be asked. Also, be prepared to answer the very �If?� questions you ask. The other converser may say, �Let me think about that for a minute. Meanwhile, you go first.�
For some excellent examples of effective questions, check this book, Questions That Work, by Andrew Finlayson (2001)Although it�s mainly for business and professional life, this book has many good ideas about the structure of questions that apply to any conversation. As well, it contains plenty of question examples, such as �27 questions to inspire creativity in a group.� and �66 questions to ask when you�re investigating a problem.�
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Loren Ekroth �2004
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